Over the last two decades, I've had the privilege of working with over 2,500 students nationwide. Among the many topics I've discussed, coaching parents and students on what to expect when shopping for dorm room supplies, navigating drop-off day, and adjusting to the quieter house afterward has been particularly rewarding.
Now, it's my turn to experience this transition firsthand, and I'm grateful to have so many people offering their guidance and support!
Many ask, "How are you feeling?" or "Are you ready?" I know these are sincere questions, but the truth is, I'm experiencing a mix of excitement and bittersweet emotions as I navigate this new chapter alongside my son. While I haven't cried in public, at the grocery store, or in private in my closet, I get choked up—not out of fear, but from the warmth of excitement for all the wonderful experiences my son has to look forward to in college on the Plains!
August is a hectic month for families with students, as it marks the final stretch of summer and the start of a new academic year. Parents and students juggle many tasks, from back-to-school shopping and organizing dorm room essentials to finalizing college registration and attending orientations. The anticipation of move-in day adds another layer of excitement and chaos as families prepare for the big transition to college life. Amidst this hustle and bustle, I want to encourage all of us to slow down and spend time with our students.
As parents, we can accidentally embrace the wrong emotion and create more anxiety, particularly as we get closer to the date for leaving our 18-year-old child at college to return home with an empty room. Our move-in date is approaching fast, and I think about whether this is the "last"—the last hike, the last lunch, the last Instagram reel to watch shoulder to shoulder, the last time I hear the guitar playing, the last Sunday as a family at church, etc.
But instead of dwelling on the "lasts," I remind myself to cherish these moments and focus on the new beginnings ahead. This is a time of growth and excitement for our children, filled with opportunities to discover their passions, make lifelong friends, and develop independence. As parents, we must support and celebrate these milestones, knowing we have prepared them well for this next chapter. The memories we've created will always be with us, and our relationships will continue to grow and evolve, even as the dynamics change. So, let's embrace this transition with positivity, knowing that it is a natural and wonderful part of life's journey.
Before you leave, ensure you have a checklist of all necessary items—label boxes clearly with your child's name and room number to make the move-in process smoother. Having a plan will help minimize stress and confusion on the big day.
Encourage your child to connect with their roommates to coordinate who is bringing what. If you haven't already, create a text thread with your child's roommates' parents. This can help avoid duplicate items and ensure everyone has what they need without overcrowding the room. Chatting with the other parents can also support and help with planning. Plus, Parents' Weekend is just around the corner! We have already planned a great weekend with the other parents - new friendships and great times lie ahead!
Move-in day can be an emotional rollercoaster. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and support your child's feelings. Take a moment for a heartfelt goodbye, and remember that getting a bit teary-eyed is okay. The distance doesn't matter—whether you're dropping your child off 15 minutes from home or 9 hours away—a heartfelt goodbye, best of luck, and a reminder that you are only a phone call away are equally important!
Bring photos, favorite bedding, or other personal items to make their dorm feel like home. For example, I bought pillows with pictures of all our pets on them (a fun idea all the roommates' parents did for our boys to help create a bond and add some humor!). I also purchased a Skylight Frame, a wonderful gift that allows me to send notes and photos anytime. These are just a few fun ways to help them feel more comfortable in their new environment.
Okay, here is the most challenging part—keeping the goodbye short and sweet, especially if other children are coming home with you! This is when I choke up. While it's tempting to linger, a prolonged goodbye can make the transition harder for you and your child. Once they are settled, hug them, express your confidence in their ability to thrive, and make your exit.
If you have younger siblings, brace yourself. Encourage them to express their emotions and reassure them it's okay to feel sad or worried. Discuss the exciting things their older sibling will experience at college. When you return home, plan a few fun activities to keep younger siblings occupied and create new memories. While you might not be able to go to Disney World, try to make something magical and memorable for your family to look forward to during this new chapter.
I hope these tips help you, your child, and your family start this new journey positively. Prayers for a smooth move-in, an incredible start to the new academic year, and a wonderful new chapter!
Oh...and don't forget your tissues!!
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